Monday 5 October 2015 11:37, UK
The hosts have crashed out of contention for a place in the Rugby World Cup quarter-finals. Rupert Cox suggests eight ways England fans can still enjoy October…
1. Commission a researcher from celebrity genealogy show Who Do You Think You Are to dig around your family tree and track down a distant Irish uncle, Scottish aunt, or - even better - Kiwi cousin. But no Welsh great grandfathers and absolutely no Australian kin of any kind, please.
2. Sell on your tickets (through the official channels, of course) and make your money back. On the days you thought were going to be an England knockout game, spend your bonus revenue at the FanZone in Richmond. Without doubt the place to be on game day at this World Cup. Guess who's hosting?
3. And/or spend it on a romantic weekend at the Pennyhill Park Hotel. Rooms are going cheap.
4. Become a very helpful volunteer. How excellent would it be to get your mitts on one of those megaphones and a long red torch and then deliberately send fans of other nations in the wrong direction? The usual three-hour journey out of Twickenham could be made even worse!
5. Go and see a game from the opening round of the Aviva Premiership. They like to brag that it's the best rugby competition in the world. Ha! Well - there are 31 England players going back to their clubs next Sunday. Apparently, they're keen for a game.
6. Spend the next four weeks creating the best Halloween costume ever; the World Cup final is on October 31. You could go as Sam Burgess in a rugby union shirt. Spooky.
7. Train to become a Television Match Official. You'll get more air time than Simon Cowell on a Saturday night.
8. Leave the country.
Beka Tsiklauri. The Lokomotiv Tiblisi and Georgian full-back scored a try for the ages against the All Blacks on Friday night.
Tsiklauri's smile after touching down was wide enough to stretch all around the Olympic Stadium, and kicked off a fine performance from Los Lelos.
Apparently Tsiklauri's family members had predicted he would score against the world champions at this tournament. Great stuff Beka - dreams do come true.
What IS the point? Why have bonus points at a Rugby World Cup? They were introduced into Super Rugby 20 odd years ago as a means of encouraging try scoring and urging teams to keep playing where the outcome was obvious way before full-time. Other leagues around the world quickly followed suit.
But World Cup games don't need artificial incentive. The drama and tension is already there.
Japan could win three pool games to Scotland's possible two at this World Cup and still miss out on a quarter-final due to acquiring less sodding bonus points. Not right.
Michael Cheika. What he has achieved with this Wallaby team in just 12 months is extraordinary.
When he's not picking Australian rugby up off the floor and turning the players into world beaters - he's translating questions from foreign journalists at post-match press conferences so everyone present can understand.
He also smashed a Sky camera once at the Amlin Challenge Cup final. A Renaissance Man.
