A week of verbals sees Mike Ashley, Andre Agassi, Gary Neville and Roberto Martinez create the headlines.
Who's been saying what in a sporting week of verbal sparring
Another intriguing week of verbal sparring sees Mike Ashley lampooned for his decision to sell St James' Park to Ant and Dec, Andre Agassi go on a three-day cleaning binge, Roberto Martinez stick up for his compatriot Rafa and Michael Owen get all precious about his match rating.
"St James' Park is one of the most famous stadia, not just in Europe but in the world. You can go anywhere and everyone knows St James' Park is the home of Newcastle United. The two are synonymous."
Freddy Shepherd laments the lovable Mike Ashley's plan to sell the naming rights to St James' Park.
"Fans will be horrified, angry and upset about this. They've had to put up with a lot in recent months, but this is just another blow." Added
Shepherd, a man who during his own tenure mocked the club's followers for buying overpriced replica kit, called Alan Shearer "Mary Poppins" and referred to Tyneside women as "dogs".
"Ferguson has his group of faithfuls, people who are committed to him: Steve Bruce, who was a player with him, Sam Allardyce, who thinks he will be his successor at Old Trafford, and others."
Roberto Martinez delights Manchester United supporters with the inside track on who is to succeed Sir Alex.
And then backtracks spectacularly: "It was an unfortunate article. I looked at the article and I found it really disrespectful and full of bad taste. It doesn't represent myself or any of my views. It's not the first time, and I don't think it will be the last time, that there is some misinterpretation, false declarations and probably things taken out of context."
"It was a sad day for English cricket that on my last day against South Africa I saw Jonathan Trott celebrating with South Africa, when the week before he had been our 12th man at Headingley. I was going into the press conference and I saw him patting them on the back. It hit home what English cricket has become like."
Michael Vaughan shoots from the hip. Coincidently on the day his new book comes out.
"His poor performance recently is not due to a lack of match practice but psychological problems." Roman Pavlyuchenko's agent
Oleg Artemov attempts to elicit sympathy for a man who gets paid £60,000-a-week to train and make 15-minute cameos.
"Guus Hiddink was here on Friday. We spoke about Pav, how he is, how you get him going, how you try to get him going. He had the same opinion as me, really. He said sometimes he shouts at him, sometimes he's nice to him, sometimes he doesn't speak to him at all, and sometimes he talks to him. He's tried all those things. I said to him: 'So have I Guus, exactly the same.'"
Harry Redknapp.
"He's a fellow professional, a young Englishman, and I wouldn't intentionally try to hurt anyone, especially someone you want to go and help win the World Cup for us."
Liam Ridgewell defends his reducer on Theo Walcott.
"Phil's done a fantastic job since he's been there."
Dean Windass is right behind Phil Brown.
Which is of course the ideal position to stab somebody in the back: "But I think it's time that he should get moved on and bring somebody else in."
"Slim dumps a small pile of powder on the coffee table. He cuts it, snorts it. He cuts it again. I snort some. I ease back on the couch and consider the Rubicon I've just crossed."
Andre Agassi fine-tunes his pre-match preparation.
"I'm seized by a desperate desire to clean. I go tearing around my house, cleaning it from top to bottom. I dust the furniture. I scour the tub. I make the beds." Crystal Meth sounds like a riot.
"Archie Gemmill used to take an angry pill every morning. He wanted to get you really at it. He was a great motivator as well."
Steve Stone reveals how Slim has a lot to answer for.
"I've hardly had kids following me through the streets as I go for my morning run, like Rocky. That's because I am not one for pounding the pavements at silly o'clock with Eye of the Tiger pumping on the iPod. "
David Haye rolls out of bed at about 12 for a quick stroll as he prepares to fight Nikolai Valuev.
"I think the Guinness Premiership, having watched the games, is the weakest Premiership I've seen since I have been up here (in the United Kingdom)."
Warren Gatland is clearly not a fan of the black stuff.
"The atmosphere is hard to handle for the referee. Whether he had enough experience, I don't know. He will certainly learn from it."
Sir Alex Ferguson offers his full support to Andre Mariner.
"I don't get a great reception at Anfield I must say - I'm not their favourite son."
Gary Neville - the master of the understatement.
"I would not have commented to the extent I have today, but reading in the paper that the Premier League said we made no request to get the game called off, that's just sitting on the fence - normal splinters up the backside as usual. They know that we went through the right procedures and that we did not call it off because we couldn't. There was no point because [last season] they told us we had to get a team out there no matter what. It is their responsibility to consider how dangerous it might be to allow this to spread throughout football, so they have shirked responsibility, not us. I don't think they have put much thought into it at all."
Sam Allardyce believes the FA have acted like real swines...Jimmy Tarbuck has left the building.
"I stick to my grandmother's recipe which is hot milk and red wine. It's fantastic."
Carlo Ancelotti. Some things are best left unexplained.
"Well, Halloween's coming up and I was thinking of Wolverine. It's not anything to do with any play-off ritual - I'm just lazy and can't be bothered to shave. And everybody keeps telling me to cut it and I'm stubborn."
David Beckham explains the beard.
"If you look at the squad that Phil Brown has got and what he will do with that this season compared possibly to the squad that Rafa has got, I think you'll find that Phil will come out on top in terms of how you add value to a group of footballers." Hull City chairman
Paul Duffen.
"Paul's departure is on a totally amicable basis and he leaves with our best wishes as a friend of the club and its directors." You can see where Hull are coming from.
"They sold me for £800,000 and bought Eric Cantona for £1m. That's not a bad bit of business!"
Mark Robins in a typically self-effacing mood.
"I started a game against Bolton and was pretty pleased and thought I played pretty well. Then I looked at the papers and was given a three or four. But in this game I played pretty average and scored a goal and I'll probably get seven out of 10. I think I deserved a five in this game and seven or eight from the Bolton game." Methinks
Michael Owen may have a little too much time on his hands.
"I'd have put an 'a' in it."
Phil Brown when asked whether Jozy Altidore had put the twit in Twitter.
"The patronising stuff from Karren Brady I found galling, to be honest. When I was here she sold players such as Matt Upson from under me, and shafted me on a new contract. Then, all of a sudden, it is all nicey-nicey. I find that a bit strange."
Steve Bruce struggles to rearrange the following words: kettle, black, pot.
